Friday, December 23, 2005

thanks to Martin.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

I've learned that no matter how I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

D at 9:11 AM

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Monday, December 19, 2005

when will this end, it goes on and on...

sabi nga ni dufresne, 'write to forget'.

i just want to forget this moment. and to remind myself that life does not always give us what we want.

for the longest time, i have been pining for that single person. i hate the feeling. i know i was just one unimportant act he passed along the way. but stubborn as i am, i kept thinking that i can change things. i want to be important. i want to be his everything. i'll do all in my power to make me his everything. but i can only do so much. that's the sad part. i learned that life is a two-way street.

and now, i just want to stop wanting. i want to forget.

i have been a fool. i threw my pride away and laid my heart at his feet and all he said was it was too late. fuck timing.

i want to wait. four, six, eight more years. but right now, i'm sure he has the choice not to pass that same act again. and i'm lost. for once in my life, i lost control. i am doing something that is not in my plans. i did not choose this. i didn't choose to be stuck here.

to You:
you're the reason i have a blog. however, i like to think that you are not the reason i exist. but at this minute, i feel that you are. i know you're happy with your life and content with that girl you chose. i know she's right for you. i feel you are happy with her. and all i have been wishing for is your happiness. you didn't find that with me the first time, because i was reluctant to give you that. when the time came that i was complete and ready, you were not there anymore. and i forgot to tell you i'll come back. i was expecting you'd be there where i left you. i guess, you grew tired of my drama. i'm sorry.

i will not be texting you anymore. that's a hard feat for me and you know it. so, merry christmas, happy new year, happy valentine's, happy birthday and happy christmas again. there. i don't need to text you for a year.

by the way, that RPG we're playing, i'm not the least bit interested in. but just the thought that we can meet there, some place some time, gives me a sense of hope and happiness, that we'll have a moment exclusive to us, away from the real world. there, i won't hurt because you're beside me, running through pastures, hunting down enemies. there, i am your ally. i am your right hand. and you are my partner.

pi, len... lubid, please.

D at 7:18 PM

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Wednesday, December 14, 2005

sick

i feel sick.

hindi na talaga ako magtetext sa kanya ever.

as in.

promise.

oh well.

D at 7:19 PM

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Monday, December 12, 2005

sleepless

When you won't take no for an answer,
you might still have a chance to get what you want.

I hope I will.

D at 12:47 AM

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